Review: John Gulager's Feast
The Monster Movie That Spawned Two Sequels Was Never That Great
May 23, 2009
In 2005, the television series Project Greenlight chronicled the production of John Gulager’s bloody monster movie Feast. Now, a mere four years later, horror fans might be surprised to find their local Blockbuster store has a spot on the shelf for not only Feast 2 but also a second sequel, Feast 3: The Happy Finish. As a film that inspired a trilogy of terror, one would think the original Feast is something of a classic – but such is not the case.
Watching the behind-the-scenes making of Feast on season three of Greenlight (the reality show produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon) actually proves to be more entertaining than the movie itself. The premise is hardly original – a bunch of people trapped in a building while hideous alien-like monsters lurk outside waiting to gobble up every last man, woman and child – but a very similar story worked quite well for the 2007 film The Mist.
Directorial Flaws Spoil the Fun in Feast
As for Feast – numerous flaws plague this horror-comedy for its entire runtime, and director Gulager is on the hook for most of them.
Things get started on the wrong foot as Gulager utilizes lazy freeze frame introductions for every character in the movie – and there’s a ton of them. Rather than allowing for natural introductions and maybe a little character development, Feast presents all fifteen potential victims within the first couple minutes and dives right into the mayhem from there.
If said mayhem were the least bit enthralling, this wouldn’t be a problem, but more often than not the movie is too chaotic for its own good.
Sure, the movie is set in a dank, dirty bar in the middle of nowhere, but just because bars in real life are dimly lit does not mean the entire movie needs to be so dark that the viewer cannot discern a repulsive ooze-spewing monster from VH1 Best Week Ever mainstay Judah Friedlander. Perhaps lights were not covered in the $3 million budget.
Action scenes are also notoriously difficult to watch because the shots are so hectic and jittery it’s as though the cameramen are the ones being attacked by space creatures. Viewers may find themselves saying, “Wait, what just happened?” and rewinding the DVD on more than one occasion.
Horror-Comedy Lacks Jokes, Scares
Mechanical problems aside, the script is also to blame for the mediocrity on screen. Feast lacks the jokes necessary to make it an effective comedy and the chills required of a bona-fide fright fest. Friedlander – who is quite entertaining on various VH1 programs and also the sitcom 30 Rock – plays quite possibly the most irritating B-movie victim this side of a Boogeyman sequel.
Even Henry Rollins is given little to work with here, and a scene involving the erstwhile Rollins Band frontman donning pink women’s sweat pants is more humorous on paper than what is presented on screen.
For fans of the genre who enjoy blood and gore (and plenty of it), Feast will likely satisfy their craving. But for those who appreciate originality and at least a hint of creepiness in their horror, leave this low-budget clunker and all its sequels on the shelf at the video store.
Jason Mewes and Balthazar Getty costar in this horror-comedy.
